Resiliency isn't pushing past pain

Resilience support

How good are you at moving on after being disappointed or hurt or making a mistake? Resilience is not always easy. It is learned.  When our children were younger, they built resilience when they were learning to ride a bike and they fell.  Some kids got right back on, some kids cried and wanted to be held while they cried. We met them where they were, trusting that they would learn.   The adolescent years are different, and the same.  Allowing our children to explore their feelings can be hard for parents, we don’t want our children to feel painful feelings, but to push them down or aside does not make them go away.  During adolescence our job is as it was then- to give them space, let them wobble, and be there if they want to cry and be held, believing that they can get back up and feel their feelings and move forward with their new learned skill.

 

Practice: Play Lo/Hi with your kid. Ask what was the low point of your day?  What was the high point?  Give them space to share without interrupting or trying to make them feel “better”.

 

Reference: Laziness Does Not Exist

 

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Have a question that you would like Sarah & Quinn to answer? Email us at connect@planp.us

 

 

Visit planp.us to learn more and get access to resources to build healthy relationships with your pre-teens, teens and young adult children!