Plan P

Parenting, Grief, and Growth: A Conversation with Ann Faison

In this episode, we’re in for a special treat as we sit down with Ann Faison—a mother of two adolescents, artist, author, teacher, wife, and so much more. Ann shares her powerful insights on parenting, particularly the intersection of grief and growth that comes with raising children through all stages.
Ann opens up about her personal journey and the lessons she's learned along the way, especially the importance of providing consistency and encouragement for her children. She speaks beautifully about the challenges of miscommunication in parenting and how it led to transformative change within her family. As they navigated these challenges, Ann and her family learned to understand each other on a deeper level and address the underlying needs and issues that arose.
Ultimately, Ann came to a profound understanding of what she could—and could not—control or fully comprehend in her role as a parent, and she shares how she learned to be okay with that. It’s a heartfelt conversation about the inner work of parenting, the importance of support for parents, and the resilience that comes with growth, both as individuals and as a family.
Tune in for a conversation filled with wisdom, vulnerability, and the reality that parenting, at its core, is a journey of learning and unlearning.
 
 
https://www.helpwithgrief.me/about-ann
https://substack.com/@annfaison
transformingfamily.org
 

Paying Attention Softly: Building Trust with Your Adolescent

In this episode, we explore the often-repeated advice for parents of adolescents: “Pay attention.” While this can feel intimidating or overwhelming, we discuss how to approach this idea with a sense of softness that can greatly benefit the parent-child relationship during these transformative years.
Discover how a gentle approach to paying attention allows you to notice your adolescent's changes without overwhelming them. Learn the difference between using a magnifying glass or a microscope when observing your child. Curiosity fosters connection, while scrutiny can lead to discomfort.
Explore how to engage in conversations with your child without immediate reactions. This awareness can lead to deeper understanding and trust.
Reflect on your own journey as a parent. Are you paying attention to your own needs and desires, or are you caught up in comparing yourself to others?
Understand how to open your hands, allowing your child to feel safe enough to explore their independence while knowing they can always return to you.
Join us for a thoughtful discussion on how to bring softness to the art of paying attention, fostering a healthier, more trusting relationship with your adolescent.
Listen and learn!

Power Full: Understanding Enabling

Power Full: Understanding Enabling
In this episode we talk about empowering our children… and how easy it can be to slip into enabling them. No parent wants to enable their child, we just want to support them.  Understanding what enabling is, and what support is can make a huge difference in the lives of parents of adolescents, AKA emerging adults.  No matter the age of your child-preteen, teen or young adult, this episode will offer you new awareness and new skills to practice which will help you build the foundation of support that you want to be, and that your children want you to be!
 
Nzinga Harrison Un-Addiction
Daniel Siegel Brainstorm

Growing from Mistakes

Parents, particularly parents of preteens, teens and young adults, can find themselves searching for answers to explain their child’s behavior. This often leads to dwelling on perceived parental mistakes made in the past, or mistakes made by others-doctors, teachers, other parents and anyone else who might have had impact on the child.
Human beings make mistakes. In this episode we discuss both the importance of acknowledging mistakes and also how to learn from those mistakes. By understanding what might now, in hindsight, be considered a mistake, parents can strengthen themselves and their relationships with their kids. 
It is also important that parents understand the possibility that not everything that happens is a mistake, some actions are just simply human beings being human. When parents acknowledge that truth, they are modeling honesty and responsibility, rather than shame and blame.   
Parents who learn to practice this growth mindset can have open honest conversations and build a foundation of trust with their adolescent children.

Parenting Partnerships

In this episode, we’re focusing on the dynamics of cooperative parenting and how to effectively partner with the various adults in your child's life. Everyone involved in a child's life—parents, grandparents, teachers—has the child’s best interests at heart. However, differing opinions and approaches can create challenges. We explore how to navigate these differing perspectives while maintaining a united front.
Parenting less about micromanaging and more about building effective partnerships. We discuss how to foster positive relationships with other adults in your child's life and how these relationships impact your child’s development.
As children transition into adulthood, their role in the family dynamic shifts. We talk about how parents and other guardians can collaborate with these almost-adults in a way that respects their emerging autonomy while still providing support.
We want to model negotiation, not triangulation! Adolescents crave independence but also need to know there’s a safety net. We discuss how to balance giving them freedom with providing a supportive network that ensures they have help if needed.
 
Resources:
https://cmcffc.org/

Three H's - Hear, Help or Hug

In this episode, we dive into the complexities of human communication with emerging adults. Navigating your child’s hard feelings can be challenging. We often fall into the trap of trying to solve the problem rather than truly understanding what they need. In this episode we discuss understanding how the instinct to offer solutions might actually stem from a desire to make ourselves feel better. This helps parents understand why this approach doesn’t always work and how it can sometimes make things worse.
We discuss methods that can gently guide your child in identifying their own pain points and learning to communicate them effectively. Adolescents crave autonomy and can feel overwhelmed by overly controlling or dominating help. We provide tips on how to support your child without taking over.
Creating a culture of openness is crucial. You’ll leave with strategies for inviting your child into the conversation, making them feel heard, and helping them find their own solutions in a way that feels right to them.
Resources Mentioned:
How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Join the Conversation: We’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this topic! Share your insights or questions with us on social media or through our website.
Subscribe and Stay Tuned: Don’t miss out on future episodes! Subscribe to “Plan P is For” for more discussions on parenting, communication, and personal growth.
 

Play Scripts Parents Write

In this episode, Play Scripts Parents Write we delve into the nature of the stories we create about ourselves, our children, and our families. Join us as we explore how these personal narratives shape our understanding and interactions with our adolescent children. By sharing your own experiences-not the scripts you've created about your child's future- you create space for genuine communication which can lead to new and meaningful connections.
The stories we tell ourselves help us make sense of the world but are not necessarily factual. As parents we tend to interpret our children’s behavior through our own narratives, which are often influenced by anxiety and fear. When parents impose their own stories they can limit a child’s ability to express themselves and evolve. Listen to learn and understand the importance of being genuinely curious and open to understanding your children’s perspectives without preconceived judgments.
Sit back, listen to this episode with an open mind. Reflect on the stories that shape your understanding of the world and your relationships. How can you make space for others to share their stories and perspectives? Recognizing and questioning your own narratives can be the first step toward deeper, more empathetic connections.
Resources:
Negotiate Anything
Bruce Lee quote “Fear comes from uncertainty. When we are absolutely certain, whether of our worth or worthlessness, we are almost impervious to fear.”
Connect with Us:
We’re pretty much not on social media much, but it you want to see what we’re up to there, we appreciate and like to be liked, and can be found @PlanPisfor on IG and TikTok
Visit our website at www.planp.us for more episodes and resources

BONUS: sneak peek into our life

Bonus episode
A peek behind the scenes in the real life of Sarah and Quinn
In this episode we invite you into a conversation we are having about our communication and laundry. It is just an example of how and why communication between humans is hard.  We’ve been married 18 years and have known each other since we were teenagers, and we STILL get caught in the muck!! 
So, want to be a fly on the wall?  Listen! As always, we’d love to hear your thoughts, responses and questions.  connect@planp.us
 
DrJessicaBelo.com
#parentingteens #parentingatween #parentingayoungadult #troubledteen #kindandfirmparenting #podcast #newepisode #parenting #boundaries #findingjoyinthejourney
 

Positive Practices

The Power of Positive Speaking
In this episode we chat about The Power of Positive Speaking. We discuss using words that focus on what we want to achieve or encourage, rather than what we want to avoid or eliminate. This subtle shift can make a big difference in how the message is received. By practicing positivity, we can foster an environment of trust and encouragement rather than criticism.
With adolescents using positive language can promote mutual respect and understanding. It’s about building a relationship based on implied trust rather than suspicion.
Positive speaking helps us, the parents, model focusing on the spirit of the law, not the letter of the law which prioritizes the intent behind communication rather than rigidly adhering to a specific set of rules. This approach allows for more flexibility and a deeper connection with others.
Integrating positive speaking into daily interactions can be transformative. It fosters a more constructive and supportive environment, which, over time, becomes a natural part of our communication style.
Have a practicing positive week!
XO
Sarah and Quinn
 
Listen for the weekly practice. Expect this-any new way of speaking or thinking will take time. Practice is a positive use of time.
If you have a question or topic that you’d like us to speak to, just send an email to connect@planp.us
 
Resources
Positive Discipline for Teens
I Feel Statement
 
#parentingteens #parentingatween #parentingayoungadult #troubledteen #kindandfirmparenting #podcast #newepisode #parenting #boundaries #findingjoyinthejourney
 

Perspective on Reliability and Regulation

Episode 47:  Reliability and Regulation in Parenting
In this episode of Plan P: Parents Helping Parents Pivot Perspectives  we deep dive into the concepts of reliability and regulation, focusing on how they impact our relationships, especially with adolescents. We'll break down these terms, explore their significance, and discuss how they shape effective parenting and personal growth.
Reliability in parenting means being dependable and consistent. During adolescence, this reliability becomes crucial as teenagers are navigating significant changes and seeking stability.
Before we can effectively regulate others, especially our children, we need to understand and master self-reliance and self-regulation. This foundational understanding helps us approach parenting with greater empathy and effectiveness.
Sending Understanding and Hope your way!   
XO Sarah and Quinn
Listen for the weekly practice.
If you have a question or topic that you’d like us to speak to, just send an email to connect@planp.us
Links & Resources:
“The truth of these years reminds us of the importance of changing ourselves as our children change.” from Between Parent and Teen by Haim G. Gingott first published in 1969
Get Out of My Life but first could you drive me and Cheryl to the mall?  by Anthony E. Wolf
The Beauty of a Darker Soul by Joshua Mantz
The Chaos Imperative by Ori Brafman and Judah Pollackm(no relation:)
Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen of the Harvard Negotiation Project
#parentingteens #parentingatween #parentingayoungadult #troubledteen #kindandfirmparenting #podcast #newepisode #parenting #boundaries #findingjoyinthejourney