Plan P

Re: Considering- College and All the Complexities

Summary
In this episode of the Plan P podcast, we delve into the complexities surrounding education, particularly the role of college in today's society. We talk about the historical significance of college as a pathway to success and upward mobility, while also addressing the changing perceptions of education and the increasing financial burden of college tuition. The conversation explores alternative paths such as gap years and non-traditional education, emphasizing the importance of allowing children to make their own choices and the need for parents to navigate their expectations. Ultimately, the episode highlights the value of continuous learning and personal growth, regardless of the educational path chosen.

Balance between Connection and Independence

In this episode, we explore the complex dynamics of parenting during adolescence, focusing on the tension between fostering independence and maintaining connection with our children, and how very challenging it can be as parents to find our place, and find balance. We discuss the importance of clear communication, the role of compassion, and the need for parents to reflect on their own emotional needs. The conversation emphasizes the significance of setting boundaries while allowing children to grow into autonomous individuals, and the necessity of understanding and navigating the challenges that arise during this developmental stage.
Honorable Mentions:
Debra Tannen I Only Say This Because I Love You 
Brady Ready Finding You Podcast
Needs List can be found on our Resources page /Formula for Compassionate Communication
While we do not offer ITC Groups we are certified and are believers, check them out here.
Takeaways
The tension between independence and connection is a common struggle for parents.
Independence is about autonomy and making one's own decisions.
Communication is not just about words; it's also about tone and delivery.
Parents often miss the connection when they focus too much on control.
Compassionate communication can help maintain relationships during tough times.
Setting boundaries is essential for building trust and connection.
Understanding emotional needs is crucial for healthy relationships.
Teen independence can feel like rejection, but it's a natural part of growth.
Cultural messages can complicate the balance between connection and independence.
Therapy can provide valuable insights into parenting dynamics.
 
 

Parent's Pressure

Summary
In this episode of Plan P, hosts we explore the myths and misconceptions surrounding parenting teens. We discuss the pressure parents feel to conform to societal expectations, the importance of honesty and vulnerability in relationships, and the need for open communication with children. The conversation emphasizes that parenting is not about having all the right answers but about being real and connecting with teens on a deeper level.
Mentioned in the Podcast
MSG story was on the “This American Life”  podcast episode “668:the Long Fuse”
Takeaways
Parents often believe myths that can lead to unnecessary pressure.
The idea that 'breast is best' can create feelings of shame.
What is considered 'best' in parenting can vary by individual circumstances.
Headlines can oversimplify complex parenting issues.
Honesty and vulnerability can strengthen parent-child relationships.
Parents should focus on understanding their child's emotions.
It's important to ask questions rather than make assumptions about children.
Connection and communication are key in parenting teens.
Parenting is a journey of learning and unlearning.
Change in parenting practices takes time and effort.

Interview with Susan Caso

 
Summary
In this episode of the Plan P podcast, hosts Quinn and Sarah welcome family therapist Susan Caso, who shares her insights on nurturing family relationships, particularly with teens. The conversation explores the importance of emotional connection, effective communication, and the challenges of parenting in the digital age. Susan emphasizes the need for parents to balance authority with vulnerability, acceptance, and the significance of being present in their children's lives. The discussion also touches on the impact of social media on youth and the necessity for parents to model healthy behaviors and self-care. In this conversation, Susan Caso discusses the complexities of parenting, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection, emotional transparency, and building trust with children. She shares her personal experiences with parental anxiety and the need to create a calm environment for children to thrive. The dialogue explores the significance of mistakes in learning, the necessity of open communication, and the balance between vulnerability and emotional safety in parent-child relationships. Susan offers practical advice for parents to navigate their roles and foster deeper connections with their children.
takeaways
Listening takes time and is essential for building trust.
Parents should focus on positive interactions with their children.
Emotional closeness is crucial for healthy relationships.
Apologizing to teens can strengthen respect and connection.
Acceptance of children's individuality is vital in parenting.
Openness and vulnerability foster better communication.
Social media can impact mental health; awareness is key.
Setting boundaries around social media use is important.
Modeling behavior is crucial for effective parenting.
Parents need to prioritize self-care to be effective caregivers. Self-reflection is crucial for parents to understand their own emotions.
Parental anxiety can negatively impact children's experiences.
It's important to model making mistakes to build resilience in children.
Recognizing the difference between a 10 and a 1 can help manage parental reactions.
Staying calm and connected with children is essential for open communication.
Listening to understand is more important than jumping to problem-solving.
Creating emotional safety allows children to share openly with parents.
Vulnerability should lead to emotional transparency, not fear.
Building trust takes time and consistent effort from parents.
Practicing self-awareness in parenting roles can improve family dynamics.
titles
Nurturing Family Bonds: Insights from a Therapist
Building Stronger Connections with Teens
The Art of Parenting: Balancing Authority and Vulnerability
Understanding Your Teen: Communication Strategies
Social Media and Its Impact on Family Dynamics
Sound Bites
"Listening takes time."
"Parents need to put the phone down."
"You have time for 15 minutes."
"Just stare out the window, daydream."
"I was just an anxious parent."
"I need to relax."
"Everything's a 10 out of 10."
"Everything's urgent."
"Listening to understand, right?"
"Vulnerability implies emotional risk."
 
Keywords
family therapy, parenting, teen relationships, social media, emotional connection, communication, acceptance, vulnerability, family dynamics, mental health, parenting, self-reflection, emotional transparency, parental anxiety, building trust, communication, mistakes, emotional safety, listening, vulnerability

Connection to Self

Summary
In this episode of Plan P, we explore the intricate dynamics between parents and their adolescents, emphasizing the importance of self-connection as a foundation for healthy relationships. We discuss the impact of trauma, the role of vulnerability, and the necessity of finding quiet moments for self-reflection. The conversation highlights the significance of modeling behavior and the interconnectedness of self and community, ultimately encouraging listeners to practice gratitude over worry.
Other podcasts We mentioned
Inside circle – Eldra Jackson
Super psyched – Michal Dorcey
Positive Practices (plan p’s 48th Episode)
Power of the Pause (Plan P podcast episode 40)
 
Takeaways
The most important connection is the one with ourselves.
Self-awareness is crucial in parenting.
Lists can distract us from connecting with ourselves.
Vulnerability is key to building strong relationships.
Finding quiet moments is essential for self-reflection.
Modeling behavior is important for children.
Connection requires understanding our own needs first.
Practicing gratitude can shift our perspective.
Trauma can impact our parenting style.
We are all part of a larger community.
 
Keywords
parenting, self-connection, vulnerability, trauma, gratitude, emotional response, relationships, adolescence, communication, mindfulness

A 27 Year Old Shares Her Teen Experience

Summary
We are honored and delighted to introduce our listeners to an amazing adult, our daughter-not-in-law, Kiesha AKA our son Harry’s partner! This episode truly is a treat! 
What do teens wish they could tell their parents? Listen and learn as Kiesha discusses her own adolescent years. This woman is on point, honest and wise as she shares her experiences navigating adolescence, mental health challenges, and family dynamics. The discussion covers the emotional complexities of growing up, the impact of divorce on family relationships, and the importance of communication and support in overcoming struggles. Kiesha reflects on her journey through school, cultural identity, and the development of coping skills, emphasizing the significance of gratitude and self-care in her life.
 
This Weeks practice
How do you practice gratitude?
 
Takeaways
Adolescents often struggle to express their emotions to parents.
Divorce can significantly impact family dynamics and children's mental health.
Open communication between parents and children is crucial for emotional support.
Mental health awareness is essential during adolescence.
School challenges can exacerbate mental health issues for teens.
Cultural identity plays a role in social integration during adolescence.
Transitioning to high school can be a difficult experience for many teens.
Building trust and communication with parents fosters a supportive environment.
Coping skills and self-care practices are vital for mental well-being.
Gratitude can help shift perspective and improve overall happiness.
 
Keywords
parenting, adolescence, mental health, family dynamics, emotional awareness, school challenges, cultural identity, trust, coping skills, gratitude

Money Talks (preparing our teens for life)

In this episode of Plan P the Podcast we dive into the vital and sometimes confounding topic of teaching financial responsibility and independence to adolescents. We explore effective strategies for parents to guide their teens through conversations about money, making sure to emphasize transparency, age-appropriate lessons, and the importance of saving and investing. Through what we hope is insightful discussion, we highlight how financial education not only prepares teens for adulthood but also fosters gratitude, responsibility, and community involvement. Tune in to discover practical tips for helping your child develop a strong foundation in financial literacy that will last a lifetime. Truly.  It doesn’t mean you won’t have to repeat it, they’re adolescents, trust that you will want to repeat it, and that you are building this foundation on top of the many which you have been laying since they were wee little humans.
Key Points Discussed:
The importance of early financial education and how it prepares teens for adulthood
Practical strategies for engaging teens in money conversations, including budgeting, saving, and investing
Age-appropriate lessons for different stages of adolescence
The role of parents in modeling financial responsibility
How teaching financial independence fosters gratitude, responsibility, and community involvement
Tips for making financial conversations transparent and approachable
Resources Mentioned:
www.donorschoose.org – can find local schools and other cool ways to give to the comunity 
www.kiva.org – way to invest in people and see the impact your money can have in the lives of others 
Join us next time for more insightful tips on raising empowered teens!
 
# financialeducation #parentingteens #moneymanagementforteens #kidsandmoney #independence #responsibility, #transparency #savingteen #investingforteens #buikldinghealthyfinancialhabits 

Talking bout Love

💖 Love Languages & Parenting: Cracking the Code on Connection
It’s February, and whether you’re feeling the romance or just the societal pressure of it all—love is definitely in the air! In this episode of Plan P, we (your favorite married couple of 18 years!) take a deep dive into love languages—Dr. Gary Chapman’s five ways people give and receive love:
✨ Words of Affirmation✨ Acts of Service✨ Receiving Gifts✨ Quality Time✨ Physical Touch
But here’s the twist: we’re looking at love languages through the lens of parenting—because let’s be real, understanding how your teen wants to receive love (and how they don’t) is a game-changer.
We get into:💬 Our own experiences with love languages—what works, what flops, and what surprises us.👀 How teens’ love language preferences shift (because they totally do).❤️ Why self-awareness and communication are everything in expressing love.🛠️ Practical ways to use love languages to deepen family connections.
And, as always, we keep it real, humble, and maybe a little too honest. 😆
So, grab a cup of coffee (or wine, we don’t judge) and join us for another episode of discovery of self, laughs at ourselves, love of selves, and a few “aha” moments.
🎧 Hit play now!
💡 P.S. If you missed our last episode, check it out here: Three H’s: Hear, Help, or Hug

Trust yourself

Summary
Scary as it might sound (and spoiler alert, fear won’t help) you, the loving parent, are actually the expert on that adolescent you know and feel like you don’t know! Sarah and Quinn are here to help you gain a little teeny bit more knowledge and understanding in this area of their expertise, while emphasizing that there are no definitive experts in parenting. Confused?  It’s confusing!
There are ways of finding your unique parenting style, setting boundaries, and creating a safe environment for your children to grow.
This conversation highlights the value of honesty, which inherently includes the significance of modeling mistakes; of embracing flexibility in family dynamics, and of identifying rituals which will foster a supportive atmosphere. Ultimately, when parents are willing to understand that they can trust themselves, things ease up, and relationships can grow.
 
Takeaways
There are no experts when it comes to parenting.
Every parent is an expert in their own child's life.
Parenting is a unique journey for each family.
Letting go of expectations is crucial in parenting.
Setting boundaries is essential for healthy growth.
Modeling how to respond to mistakes teaches resilience.
Creating a safe container allows for open communication.
Family rituals provide stability and connection.
Flexibility is key as family dynamics change.
Trust yourself and give yourself grace as a parent.
 
Keywords
parenting, adolescents, parenting experts, boundaries, family dynamics, safe container, modeling mistakes, family rituals, trust, imperfection

Tao or the Way

Summary
In this episode, Sarah and Quinn explore the challenges of parenting adolescents through the lens of Taoism, an ancient and diverse philosophical and religious tradition emphasizing harmony.  They discuss the importance of building trust, letting go as the way to hold on, and understanding the flow of parenting. By embracing non-action and allowing children to navigate their own paths, parents can foster deeper connections and encourage autonomy. The conversation emphasizes the need for space, grace, and patience in the parenting journey, ultimately guiding listeners to a more harmonious relationship with their children.
 
Takeaways
Taoism offers profound insights for parenting adolescents.
Letting go allows children to reveal who they are.
Non-action is about allowing things to unfold naturally.
Building trust requires releasing control and expectations.
Space for grace helps in understanding our children better.
Hope and fear can cloud our parenting decisions.
Encouraging autonomy fosters accountability in children.
Practicing trust is essential for a healthy parent-child relationship.
Change in parenting takes time and practice.
Embracing the flow of parenting leads to deeper connections.                       
 
 
 
Keywords
Taoism, parenting, adolescents, trust, letting go, autonomy, non-action, fear, hope, connection